1. Join a gym. Yeah yeah, so the monthly fee might be brutal — but those endorphins’ll alleviate the blow of being laid off and the stigma of being “unemployed.” And also, you’ll be able to stop those obnoxious biweekly drug store runs; just stuff some plastic bottles in your gym bag and save some of the gym’s shampoo, soap, etc. for later. If times are really tough, smuggle some TP too. The added bonus? The health club is a great place to meet that sweaty iBanking hottie who can fund your lavish [unemployed] lifestyle.

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